Describe Yourself On A Dating App
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You may think you’re a pro when it comes to online dating and your dating apps, but I think there’s always more to be learned. For instance, there’s a lot of factors, right? Think about it — aside from choosing profile pictures that best represent you, there’s what to say in your online dating profile. While pictures are important — and maybe some people (okay, a lot) seem to swipe right based on pictures alone — words are, too. Some think “a picture’s worth a thousand words,” but they do not always tell the whole story.
“It can be so easy to just look at pictures on your dating app and swipe right,” Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, tells Bustle. “You’re in a flow, and they’re so attractive. What could possibly go wrong? But you’ll actually save yourself time, frustration, and potentially disastrous messaging/dating later if you’ve taken the time to read their profile from the get-go. Otherwise, you risk missing critical information like, ‘In an open relationship. Wanna join us for some fun?’ or ‘Just out of prison. Let’s do this!’ There are a lot of very attractive, but undateable, people out there.”
Yes, there are people who don’t write anything in the “bio” section. But several dating experts I spoke to recommend filling in the blanks. I used to write people’s dating profiles, and I’m telling you — having one makes a huge difference, i.e., more well-suited matches. Below, you’ll find what you should write in your online dating profile, according to the pros.
1. List Your End-Goal For “Why” You’re Dating
“The partner who knows what they want is the partner who’ll get what they want. Far too often, we enter dating without stating our true desires. We wrongly assume that will reap greater results. Yes, it will open your profile to more interest — but not to the type of person you want to date. Without your end-goal clearly stated, your prospective partners will have a greater opportunity to push their agenda. Don’t be afraid to say what you want upfront. Our ‘why’s — i.e., ‘I want to date and have fun,’ ‘I’m looking for a committed relationship,’ or ‘Looking to marry and start a family’ — need to be in sync with those we date. It saves time, energy, and a battle of wills.” — Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of Allowing Magnificence
2. Include Info That Will Start Conversations
“A lot of individuals need to have fodder to make conversation. It’s very difficult for people sometimes to put themselves forward and try to make that first move. Tinder’s double opt-in makes the process of understanding whether another person is interested in you incredibly transparent and efficient. Making the first move and initiating a conversation still may not be easy for some people because they may not be naturally confident engaging in conversations with new people. For some, thin information may feed the lack of confidence because they don’t know how or where to begin a conversation. By providing a bio, you are including information that matches can easily draw upon to get a conversation going.” — Tinder Sociologist Dr. Jess Carbino
3. Show, Don’t Tell
“Paint snapshots of your life rather than listing adjectives and your likes. Who are you and what is the essence of your life and hobbies that you want to convey? Plenty of people claim to be an adventurous lover of life who loves to travel. Give them a visual of how this is true: ‘Packed a bag and met my friend in Japan with 24 hours’ notice!’” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
4. Include Your “Must Have”s
“Don’t be afraid of openly stating who and what you are. It will all be revealed in time, anyway. Might as well start from the best position possible. Give your prospective dates a true idea of how you live your life. Include information about the kind of hobbies, interests, and values that define your personality. Being your partner means being in agreement with your day-to-day lifestyle. Stating important truths up front will aid your ability to match with the type of ‘resonant others’ you’d like to date.
If you’re a dedicated athlete, that means you live a healthy lifestyle. You won’t want to waste time with someone who loves clubbing till 4 a.m. when you’re getting up to run each morning at 5 a.m. If you’re newly sober, include the fact that living a clean lifestyle is important to you, and that you neither drink nor take drugs. If you follow a specific religion or spiritual path that defines your daily lifestyle, that’s also important information to share. This can also include your sexual preferences for expression. If you know your sexual lifestyle dictates a specific type of partner, don’t be subtle. State your needs clearly to avoid future conflict.” — Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of Allowing Magnificence
5. Be Upfront About Your Relationship Status & What You Want
“If you’re interested in hookups, don’t contact people who don’t have that included in their profiles. The likelihood of you not getting a response is about 95 percent.” — Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and author of the relationship blog, You’re Just A Dumbass
“Your online dating profile is a great opportunity to do some of the work that dating in person would normally do if you didn’t meet online. In other words, you can use your online profile to filter for what you do and don’t want. For instance, if you’re looking for someone who’s not separated, but truly divorced, say so. Lots of people think they’re single because they’re living alone, but the reality is they’re separated and have been for years with no divorce paperwork in the process. Ask now! Save yourself some time, energy and money.” — April Masini, aka “Ask April,” New York–based relationship expertand author
“My friend began a serious relationship with a man who stated he wanted a ‘calm’ woman. She tried in earnest to amend herself for him, but what he really wanted was a seriously committed submissive. She broke off the engagement and he was stuck with having bought a home for them.” — Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of Allowing Magnificence
6. Be Honest
'Whatever your current life circumstances are, just be honest about it. Ultimately, the person you want to be with will be supportive.” — Clarissa Silva, behavioral scientist and author of the relationship blog, You’re Just A Dumbass
“Eventually you’re going to meet and date this person, so don’t lie about yourself, your hobbies, or skills. No one wants to plan a date for a ‘surf lover,’ only to discover that person can’t swim.” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
7. Be Positive
“Keep your wording positive, confident, and succinct. At best, you get about 10 seconds to wow your perspective sweetheart. If you fill that space with negative language, what you’re not looking for in a partner, arrogance, or long, run-on sentences, you’ll be dateless.” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
8. Show Your Sense Of Humor
“I encourage a sense of humor, something that makes your reader smile and think, not just wonder if there is attraction or not. Remember, a good match doesn’t make us feel great — we feel great because we feel great around them. If I’m smiling to myself because of what they say or write, imagine how great I’ll feel in their presence!” — Jeffrey Sumber, MA, MTS, LCPC, psychotherapist and bestselling author of Renew Your Wows!
9. Avoid Clichés
“Clichés are overused in life, but even more so in dating profiles. What makes you different and interesting? Play that up, keeping it fresh and unique to stand out from the easy-going, glass-half-full crowd looking for their ‘partner-in-crime.’” — Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life
After all, the more you know about someone, the more you’ll have to go on when trying to see if the person would be a good fit for you.
Images: Fotolia, Giphy
“Describe yourself in one emoji. I'll go first: 💅”
Ways To Describe Yourself On A Dating App
Coming up with the first message you send a new dating app match isn’t easy. That first message sets the tone for your conversation, and if the best opener you can come up with is, “Hey,” then chances are things are going to go downhill fast. Of course, when you've never met someone before and don't already know their tastes and opinions, making convo can be a little challenging, which is where dating app icebreakers come in handy. When you start your dating app convo off with a clever question or quip, then your match is far more likely to respond than if you hit them with, “Hey.”
As professional dating profile writer Eric Resnick previously told Elite Daily, swiping on dating apps is all about volume, so you want to use dating app opening lines that leave a lasting impression. Otherwise, you’ll quickly be forgotten in a sea of matches. “The best move is to ask them a question about something in their profile,” Resnick said. “First messages should be questions that can’t be answered in a yes or no.” That way, the convo will always have somewhere to go.
Even if you're feeling awkward about sending that first message, these dating app openers are perfect for breaking the ice and catching your match’s attention.
- Your dog is amazingly cute. What's their name? (You're also not bad looking yourself, BTW.)
- What's the strangest nickname you've ever been given and how did you earn it?
- What fictional friend group would you like to join?
- Important question: What do you think is the best way to prepare for a zombie apocalypse?
- Describe yourself in one emoji. I’ll go first: 💅
- If you had to pick only one music artist to listen to for the rest of your life, who would you pick?
- What kind of trouble are you going to get up to this weekend?
- Rank the three worst movies of all time. Go!
- How do you take your coffee?
- What would be your dream job if money didn't matter?
- So I see that you're a Yankees fan. Would the fact that I root for the Red Sox keep you from talking to me?
- Dogs or cats? And yes, there is a right answer.
- If you could switch lives with one person for a day, who would it be?
- If your life had a theme song, what would it be?
- It looks like you’re a Harry Potter fan. Which Hogwarts house would the Sorting Hat most likely put you in?
Describe Yourself On A Dating App
- What advice would you give your 18-year-old self?
- What actor would you pick to play you in a biopic?
- What's your grossest hidden talent? Don’t be shy.
- Where was that third pic in your profile taken? It looks beautiful there!
- What do you consider the worst smell in the world and why?
- What's one thing that never fails to make you cringe?
- What was your first-ever email address or screen name? If you tell me yours, I promise to tell you mine.
- If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, dead or alive, who would you pick and what would you ask them?
- What part of a kids' movie scarred you for life?
- Where was the first place you drove after getting your driver's license?
- What have you ever chickened out of doing that you'd like to do now?
- How long do you think you would last in the Hunger Games?
- Which Marvel superhero would you be if you could choose?
- What is the coolest place you've ever visited?
- What’s the worst opening line you’ve ever gotten on a dating app? (And I really hope it isn’t this one.)
Whether you make a simple joke or offer a thoughtful question, your match will be grateful you made that first move.
Expert:
Eric Resnick, professional dating profile writer
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.